Two Minutes to Midnight Squee Post!
Here's what it looks like when Sam and Dean's sex is on fire. This is what it would theoretically look like if it ever wasn't.
RECAP: Oh, poor Adam. Please stop reminding me that his life sucks terribly, too! Nekkid!Cas in the recap...just in case the home viewers forgot how A++ we find fanservice to be here at Supernatural. ALSO WORTH MENTIONING? CROATOAN. Honestly, just saying the name of the virus hints at Wincest.
So the doctor!Pestilence was kind of really awesome. But why so pea soul, vomit? Why so pea soup?
BOYS COMING IN ARGUING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE. OMFG. My heart did this: \o/ /o/ \o/ \o\ \o/ That's right DANCE PARTY UP IN MY DORM ROOM, GUYS.
They were being so in Love, guys! Dean refusing to even consider a plan that would end badly for Sam and Sam just being snarky to be snarky and so mature and ready to not go for it unless everyone agrees to it.
"Thanks for the heads up!" -- DEEEAAAAAANNNNNNNNCCCAAAKKKKEEEEESSSS.
OMG. CAS IN A HOSPITAL. WAAAAHHH. And LOL, WTF waking up on shrimping boat. I wonder if he met Forrest Gump and Lieutenant Dan. I bet the sailors were so upset because he interrupted their giant gay boat orgy.
HE IS NOT AN ANGEL. OMGOMGOMGOMG. EPIC. And he wants pain meds. What a pansy :P
Ok, also! This really excites me! Because Castiel is human in that body, which means there was no other human in there. So Jimmy did die when Cas got blown up and the cravings in My Bloody Valentine were just his body remembering--the body, not the person. Which means Cas has just been Cas all Season and, although he did not have the ability to consent before, he is now human and going to be learning about human needs and wants and emotions. IT'S TIME TO CASH IN FOR THAT NIGHT WITH THE WINCHESTERS HE'S BEEN WORKING SO HARD FOR!
"You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man I thought you were."
MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME MARRYME
I loved that scene where Dean goes in there and just punches that guy out. "She's about this small..." And then he said that incredibly true line about improv. I had to do so much of it in my acting class this semester. You REALLY DO have no idea what's going to come out of your mouth.
AND THEN SAM WAS SITTING THERE STARING AT THE VIDEO SCREEN FOR HOURS WHILE DEAN LOAFED AROUND AND WAS USELESS. You know what that is, ladies? THE RETURN OF MY BOYS. BEING MYYYYY BBBOOOYYYSSS.
Oh, wonderful. Now Pestilence is on with the brother's woe, too. Lord, this show. *shakes head*
That hospital demon talked like an angel. Wrrroonnggggg.
"We're under strict order not to kill the vessels." - Weird! Goes against what that demon in The Worst Episode This Season said. I guess it explains why Dean isn't dead yet. But I just don't know if Lucifer is the guy who wants his brother to get the strongest possible vessel in the interest of a good fight.
I liked his little outburst about Lucifer. Not Satan's bitches! Obviously we found this out more in the end, but at the time it was new information and very interesting.
Gas masks, Boys. Invest in them. They are inexpensive, you act hilarious wearing them, and it would spare us that nasty fainting-in-front-of Pestilence thing.
SAMMY TRIED TO CARRY HIS BIG BROTHER EVEN THOUGH HE WAS PRETTY MUCH FAINTING HIMSELF. GUYS GUYS GUYS. BOYS ARE IN SOOOO MUUCCCHHH LOOOVVVEEEE. *draws sparkly incredibly gay hearts around them*
SAM AND DEAN WINCHESTER ALWAYS LOOK WELL, ASSHOLE. YOU SHUT YOUR SLUTTY MOUTH.
OMFG. ANOTHER STD? SERIOUSLY? Really Show? I mean, honestly? How many have we given Sam this Season? CHILL THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SHIT, JESUS. I get it! Unprotected sex = bad. CAN WE STOP WITH THE AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL BEFORE SAM WINCHESTER DEVELOPS AN AVERSION TO SEX VIA PAVLOVIAN CONDITIONING AND HE AND DEAN DIE FROM LACK OF INCESTUOUS BUTTSEX?
Mmm. Should not have thought Sam looked so sexy when Pestilence pulled him up by the hair. But that hair, BBs. I wanna run my fingers through it. And then my vagina. Or something.
Of course Dean is the one who starts crawling to stop him even though Sam was stronger and managed to get closer to ganking him. *shakes head* BUT THEN, I GUESS IN THE END, NEITHER OF THE BOYS GOT THAT KILL. BECAUSSSEEE...
"How did you get here?"
"I took a bus."
IOSDJODIFJDOFIJGDIFOGJOFDIJGOIFJGOIDF. CASTIEL. CASTIEL. NO. SRSLY. CASTIEL.
MAYBE JUST A SPECK.
HOW IS HE SUCH A GQMF? HOW HOW HOW?
"It's too late." - Ohh, ~cryptic. COULD THIS MEAN THIS FAILY CAGE PLAN IS TOTALLY FUCKED? And SAMMY WINCHESTER IS GONNA GANK THE MOTHERFUCKING DEVIL? Staytuned,lolz.
NO, NOT CHICAGO. WHAT ABOUT MY coyotesuspect?!?!!? WHAT ABOUT MY WINCON EXPERIENCE?
"I don't understand your definition of good news."
*pets Cas* He's not quite there yet on the human thing.
"Why'd you take a picture?"
"Why'd you have to use tongue?"
GAY GAY BUTTSECKS \o/. So you know what I loved most about this, aside from the fact that Kripke loves us more than anything else in the universe? THAT IT WAS THE FIRST. THING. SAM. THOUGHT. OF. Just like the fangirls last week. You know why? Because buttsex is as relevant to his interest as it is to mine. And then Dean snapping at him. Dean is obviously not thinking of being polite, it is not the Dean way. SO CLEARLY THE ONLY EXPLANATION FOR HIS TRYING TO REIN SAM'S ENTHUSIASM IN IS THAT GAYGAY SAMMY WINCHESTER NEEDS TO STOP LAMPSHADING HIS AND DEAN'S BIG GAY INCESTUOUS LOVE IN FRONT OF THEIR FATHER FIGURE. This is just not something Dean will ever be comfortable with.
ALSO THEIR HEADS TURNED AT THE EXACT SAME TIME. ♥_♥
"Let me guess, we're about to have a talk." - OMFG. CASUAL INTIMACY. Does anyone have some vagina glue they can lend me? I seem to have run out ten minutes into this episode.
"I'm the least of any of you--"
1. I am SO SAD that Sammy really feels this way.
2. But he still has hope, even in himself!
3. AND DEAN COULD NOT EVEN LISTEN TO IT WITHOUT DEFENDING HIS BABY BROTHER.
This episode was SUCH a good place for me, ya'll.
"Aaaannnnndddd scene!" - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. CROWLEY. <3_<3
They really are lucky they have their looks. I love that Crowley isn't even pretending not to check them out. BEST GAY DEMON EVER.
SAM'S DEMON LOVER BRADY. NOW CANON. DID I SAY THEY WERE BOYFRIENDS, PEOPLE? DID I CALL THAT SHIT OR WHAT? Now someone write me the Epic Love Story, stat.
CROATOANNNNNN!!! Greatest and most terrifying evol plan ever. Bio-warfare, for the WIN (and also for the lose, please know I feel this way).
"This time next Thursday..." - OMFG. WHAT AN EPIC TIME THAT WILL BE. *flails* *wants*
It needs to be said: That "O, Death" music cue was FUCKING SICK. I am still have the orgasm.
If you feeling like a pimp, Death, go on, brush your shoulders off. Horsemen is pimps, too! Go on, brush your shoulders off. Apocalypse is crazy, baby. Don't forget that boy told you: Get! That! Dirt! Off your shoulders!
^ Between this and Sam's 99 Problems (all of which are bitches), I am starting to think Jay-Z is also a prophet of the lord, alongside the other great rap prophet, Kid CuDi.
Is there a reason I ship Bobby/Cas?
*sigh* Bobby was being awesome and exactly like oldtimey Bobby and I could not even bring myself to care. They have officially ruined him for me this season. :(
But you SHOULD feel sorry for BBCas! HE IS SO TRAGIC. ;_;
"Remember when we used to just...hunt? Wendigos?"
MY BOYS ARE SO SAD. PLS, CAN JUST HAS THIS NEXT SEASON FOR FUCKING CRYING OUT LOUD?
And then Crowley brought out his fascinating plot device--excuse me. Did I say that out loud? No, but serious. "It kills angels and demons and Death itself." Inserting an incredibly obvious line one episode before the finale =/= good pacing, BBs.
Crowley gave Bobby the ability to walk? For no reason? Out of the goodness of his heart? I like you, Crowley, but I am officially done trusting you.
STIL. SAMMY'S FACE. OMG. SAMMMM. JAREDDDDD. CUDDDDDLLEEE MEEE.
"This is getting maudlin, can we go?" - Stop effectively winning your way into Dean's heart, okay? Just because Sammy had a (canon) demon lover doesn't mean Dean gets one, too.
"I am happy to say that, if it is what you would like to hear." - Ummmm. Ummmm. Uhhh. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't ship Sassy. Even if Castiel does insist on going "OMG, SAM, TELL ME WHAT TO DO SO THAT YOU'LL LIKE ME LIKE YOU LIKE DEAN," all the time.
"You and Dean have a habit of exceeding my expectations." - D'AWWWWW. CUTEST FUCKING LINE EVER, OMG.
HE NEEDS TO DRINK DEMON BLOOD? WHY? FUCKING WHY? FUCKING WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? WHHHHHYYY? WILL WE NEVER LET THIS DROP? WILL WE NEVER STOP RUINING SAM'S PROGRESS? HAS DEAN NOT HAD TO WATCH THAT AND LOSE FAITH IN HIS BABY BROTHER AND DIE INSIDE ENOUGH TIMES? YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH, KRIPKE. HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF DECENCY, SIR? AT LONG LAST--HAVE YOU LEFT NO DECENCY? (anyone who gets that one can pound me so hard I turn into mashed potatoes).
"How is this not the worst plan you've ever heard?" -- VALID FUCKING QUESTION.
HAHAHA! Bobby said "Balls!" Is that NOT my go-to exclamation of frustration? I am sooo fucking canon.
Sam and Dean went on separate hunts. All trusting each other and mature and "good luck"-y. Sam and Dean are independent grown ups in Love. It is going to be a beautiful day.
"How do you know?"
"Have you met me? Because I know."
Swell kid, that Crowley. And Dean's new gay BFF! Aside from his brother, of course. He is so open minded now that he has lots of gay sex with his baby brother again.
Why is Bobby so surprised to see Sam being a fantastic hunter and person? I AM NOT SURPRISED, BOBBY, AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE, EITHER.
I was so amused by Dean and Crowley's "I can't hear you" interaction. They're funny.
CAS BLEW SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF TO SAVE SAM. And lololol that line. "Actually, these things can be useful."
Dean's hand was shaking! He's so cuteee.
HE HAS MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT MEETING DEATH. OMG, BECAUSE PART OF HIM STILL WANTS TO DIE. LEAVE MY HEART ALONE, DEAN WINCHESTER.
"Think how you'd feel if a bacteria sat down at your table and started getting snarky."
AHAHAHAHA. Oh, you.
Dean eating pizza with a fork and knife? WOW. You KNOW homeboy was off his guard if he was that lost for what to do.
Yikes. I have a really serious fear of death and this conversation irked me. I mean, it was interesting, but it was things Elisa isn't allowed to think about, lest she should end up in a Bad Place. So let's do that less next week, k?
God will die one day, too? Okay, so you people can DEFINITELY shove your "you can't kill Lucifer" argument where the sun don't shine.
Death is on Team Freewill? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. WTFWTFWTFWTF? I love it.
Wow, if putting a chain on a regular reaper is "like putting a leash on a great white", then Lucifer is seriously fucking with the wrong guy.
SAM IS STOPPING LUCIFERRRR. Death said so. That guy is serious.
OMFG. THAT PROMISE. DEAN, DO NOT TAKE IT. NO NO NO NO NO NO.
Dean, please stop playing with The One Ring. *shakes head*
"What do you think Death does to people who lie to his face?" - OH, I LOVE HIM. He had no intentions of actually letting it happen.
I cannot believe EVEN BOBBY AND THE ANGEL are getting on board with this plan. OMFG.
Really Mature Moment of the Night: Tee hee! Dean is "hard" on Sam. You bet Sam's sore ass he is! \o/
HE HAS A HELL OF A LOT MORE GOOD IN HIM THAN HE HAS DARKNESS, PEOPLE. HE IS SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SAMMY IS AN AMAZING FUCKING PERSON? JFC.
Dean is as afraid Sam will succeed as he is that Sam will fail. Because losing Sam is WORSE than losing. This is what we watch the show for, guys.
Is it just me (and my wife) or did Sam's smug little smile at the end really upset anyone else? He's so excited about that demon blood. I hate my life.
RESPONSE TO NEXT WEEK'S TEASER: IT WAS SO EPIC. I just started scrawling squiggles on my notebook--it was the paper equivalent of an epic keyboard mash. I would actually be SO ON BOARD with Sam's plan because it will be SO BEAUTIFUL when he defeats Satan on sheer power of his goodness--if it weren't for this idiotic demon blood clause they introduced. I DO NOT WANT HIM FUCKING DRINKING THAT SHIT. It's awful and we WILL NOT JUST LET THAT FUCKING PLOT LINE REST. I will not say anything of my worries or hopes for next episode, just that I want it RIGHT. THE. FUCK. NOW. (also, I will be watching it with wutendeskind and my mommmmyyyyy because I will be hoooooommmeee) I CANNOT BELIEVE WE ARE SO CLOSE TO FINISHED WITH THIS SEASON. My first live season! It feels like it just started, but also like it's gone on forever. I don't know. I have so many mixed feeling about this. I JUST WANT IT NOW BUT OMG, 4 MONTHS WITHOUT SHOW AND JUST FIJODJGDOIFJGT.
And what is this FUCKERY with moving Show to Friday nights?!?! Hello, fuckers, some of us would like to have social lives and be able to be loyal watchers as well. Fuckers. Trying to sink my show. WAS IT REALLY SO HARD TO GIVE US ONE MORE SEASON WITH SUPERNATURAL THURSDAYS? That's just the way it's supposed to beee. It must be THURSDAY. NOT IT MUST BE FRIDAY. Assholes.
Fuck. It's 6:30 and I have to be up for my LAST FINAL at 9:30. I should probably just not go to bed and pack, shouldn't I? This was truly awful planning.