Bimbo Baggins (cherie_morte) wrote,
Bimbo Baggins
cherie_morte

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Another Horseman? Awesome. Must be Thursday.

It's disgusting, the amount of pleasure I feel starting a review post for this show again. FINALLY. I don't even know how this hiatus hurt so much--it wasn't nearly as long as Hellatus BUT SOMEHOW IT SEEMED SO MUCH LONGER. BUT NOW MY BOYS ARE BACK. YESYESMOTHERFUCKINGYES.

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Squee Post

Oh, and if you're not here for the Wincest, avoid things that look like this.

FIRST OF ALL, CAN I JUST SAY HOW HAPPY THIS TITLE MAKES ME? I used to LOVEEEE The Bailey School Kids and OMG, SUPERNATURAL MADE A BAILEY SCHOOL KIDS JOKE. ILUSFM, SHOW. Also, "Dean Men Don't Wear Plaid" is definitely a good sign for Sam Winchester! Alright, Sam! Way to not die in *every* episode.

The THEN for this episode had no tact. I was like "Hmm. I ~sense~ a horseman."

ALRIGHT, BREAKING OUT OF A GRAVE. Such a classic move. HOW DID WE GET THIS FAR IN A SHOW LIKE SUPERNATURAL WITHOUT DOING THAT? I don't care. It was fierce.

Ah, of course the television program is relevant to the way this guy is going to die. We just love doing that, don't we, show?

"How far can he get in that chair?" - AHAHAHAHAHHAA. OH DEAN. CRIPPLE JOKES. YOU ARE ALL. CLASS. 110%.

I LOVED DIGGER. He and I go way back. Mostly I love how snarky he was with Dean. DEAN, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST *TRY* TO PLAY NICE IN THE SAND BOX?

I love that Dean thinks he is the be-all end-all of nickname rules because he gives literally everyone a nickname. BUT NOT HIMSELF. THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES.

"Who died and made you queen?" - Well, Digger, it's actually funny you should ask. See, Dean's mother Mary died and, it's a long story, but the end result is that Dean now fucks his brother. So. Mary Winchester died and made Dean queen.

Oh man, when he gave the sheriff that lip about how they'll go where Washington sends them? OMNOMNOM, DEAN WEARING THE PANTS. SO FUCKING SEXY.

AHAHHAHA, AND SAM'S AWKWARD FACE WHEN SHE SAID "Bobby?" I LOVE YOU, SAMMICH.

The first meeting between Bobby and the Boys had so much promise. He said "Bite me!" I was like "Alright, awesome!Bobby is back!" And then he lied to the Boys. *sigh* Why so faily, Season 5!Bobby? Why?

And Sam sure was being a cunt to him. And to everyone. Sammy was being cunty in general...except to Dean. Guess who bottomed last night!

"Sometimes a cigar is a cigar." - BOBBY MADE AN OCCAM'S RAZOR JOKE. I see, Bobby. You ship Jared/Jensen, too! Awesome, we should read each other's work sometime.

I just feel like there's no way that lying to the Boys to keep your ZOMBIE WIFE alive isn't a lot problematic for our relationship.

Sam and Dean in that house? When they split up and had that two second nonverbal conversation? THEY JUST WORKED SO WELL TOGETHER THIS EPISODE. And casual intimacy will never fail to soak my panties. You know where it came from? The month of monogamous and healthy lovemaking since Dean finally made his position clear on Valentine's day. Seriously, that's when they first started having sex after they ceased mid-Season 4. I believe this with all of my heart internet, and their easy relationship in this episode just proved it to me.

"So you are, in fact, a dead guy." - LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Dean is having a hard time following this WTFUCKERY.

Sam not allowing Dean to shoot A ZOMBIE because "He's a soccer dad!" OH MY GOD. SEASON 2!SAMMY. IT REALLY IS YOU. COME HERE, YOU, AND GIVE ME A BIG OL' BEAR HUG.

"You were going to SHOOT ME?!"
"YOU'RE A ZOMBIE."
"I'M A TAX PAYER!"
...if this show got more wonderful, I just don't know what I would do with myself. <3_<3

PUTTING SAM AND DEAN IN SEPARATE CELLS AND MAKING THEM LOOK ACROSS AT EACH OTHER LONGINGLY? DICK MOVE. I like it.

Funny how...this isn't even a little bit what Bobby's wife looks like. You guys couldn't have at least tried to be stealthy and gotten an actress who looked like an older version of her if the same one wasn't available? You just figured we wouldn't pick up on that? COME ON, EVEN MY MOTHER PICKED UP ON THAT.

Oh oh. Dean WILL marry a zombie for good pie. Jealous girlfriend!Sammy does not think this is cool. Sam, you'd better learn how to bake pie, stat. There will be competition for your brother's pretty mouth, and she who holds the pie holds the Dean!peen.

Oh man, that moment when she walked out of the room and they both pushed it away and glared on cue. MY BOYS. As annoyed as I am that we didn't really get much Sam and Dean time this episode (which is my only real complaint about the episode), I am really happy that the little bits we did get were so tension-free and harmonious.

Wow, Bobby. You married a Stepford Wife? Srsly? Maybe that explains why she magically turned blonde!

Wow. DEATH is behind this. The horseman, DEATH. And Bobby knew. And he looked the other way for pie? Not digging it.

"Another horseman? Awesome. Must be Thursday." - Alright, Kripke & Co. Listen up, guys. I think that I need to do you a favor and explain the concept of fandom to you guys, because you are really clearly confused about it. See, WE, the fans, fangirl YOU, the writers. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. This season 5 fan service is insane. NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING BECAUSE DEAN JUST MADE A MUST BE THURSDAY JOKE. Give it up, Dean. You read Wincest fanfiction in the Supernatural book fandom. And every time we laugh because "Sam's choking/Sam's dead--must be Thursday!", you cry a single tear of manly pain because in your soul, you know where we're coming from. BUT YOU JUST DON'T THINK IT'S THAT FUNNY, do you? Dean secretly likes the "Sam is tied up--must be Thursday!" ones, though. He is a witness to the fact that sometimes, that is NOT a bad thing.

Aww, Bobby's speech about her humming off tune while she cooks. That's so heart breaking. Little things like that--that's real love. And I feel for him, I really do. But I still think it's totally fucked that he would pretend not to know how bad this was.

WOW. HOLY SHIT. JENSEN TALKING TO THE ACTRESS PLAYING KAREN. AHAHAHAHAHHA. JENSEN ACKLES IS TALL. *points and laughs*

SHE IS GOING TO EAT YOU, DEAN. MORE PIE IS NOT THE ANSWER! I am pretty proud Dean didn't trust her despite the pie! He could see that IT WAS A TRAP.

Okay and then she asks Dean if he's ever been in love because obviously you hide the truth from the person you love to make them happy. Does anyone want to revisit how things started going wrong between Sam and Dean last season? Oh, that's right. They kept lying to each other. Because they wanted to protect each other. Right. Show, you make this too fucking easy. It's not even fun anymore! Yes it is, keep it coming.

So take it from Dean's lips when he tells you that's no way to go through life. BECAUSE HE KNOWS. HE. KNOWS, LADY.

The old lady is asking for your help and you are being all germophobic and "I'm going to regret this." I mean, okay, yes, you did regret it. BUT STILL. WHY SO GIRLY THIS SEASON, SAMMY? I guess taking it up the ass in penance has really made an anal retentive out of him.

EWW. EWW. ZOMBIE DROOL JIZZ ON SAM'S FACE. FUCK. FUCK. MY COMESHOTS KINK IS GOING TO TAKE THE BACK SEAT FOR LIKE A MONTH AFTER THAT. FUCK YOU, ZOMBIE LADY.

Bobby threatened the boys with a gun. So I'm just going to come right out and say it now: Bobby Singer, I am feeling less and less sorry about the fact that you are very clearly going to die this season. It's been happening slowly, but after this episode? I'm just like "Stop murdering and kill him already."

I loved Sam and Dean's disagreement in the car. It was so mature in a bickering brothers kind-of-way. Sam was so funny. "So I guess I'll just go save...everyone." And I really liked how protective Dean was of Bobby. Because even if his character is quickly murdering all the epic love I once had for him, he's still done a lot for the Boys and I love love love how loyal Deancakes is.

Hahah. That kid had blood allover his face. He's all baby!Sam Winchester. LOLWUT?

Aww, I was really touched by Bobby's wife when she was dying. She's a really good soul! And she really loved Bobby. Sad! But like, seriously, stop drawing this conversation on. Hurry up and tell him Death's message before you turn and OMNOMNOM his brain.

Finally he shot her. Good for you, Bobby. I swear, you are glad you made that decision. I know it sucked :(

Every time Sam teaches civilians how to fight I get excited. He's just so good at being the town daddy. I swear, this is the first step towards settling down that they're going to take when they start giving up hunting and Sam is going to rock it.

"Who sent this guy?"
"Bobby Singer."
"The town drunk?"
"I thought he was the town drunk."
"Who told you that?"
"...Bobby Singer."
AHAHAHAHA. Ever feel like Jared's only on this show anymore to make clueless/awkward turtle faces?

YESSS. I DO WANT A GIANT ZOMBIE MOB, PLEASE DO GO ALL NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD ON DEAN. ALRIGHT!! \o/\o/\o/

Dean pimp slapped a zombie!! MY HERO! ♥_♥

Good looking out, Bobby. What is it about shooting zombie's heads off that makes me so damn happy? Is it because it makes me think of the Shaun of the Dead record collection scene?

"A simple no would have been fine." - I LOVE HOW MATURE DEAN WAS THIS EPISODE. And how ready to acknowledge that Bobby could be wrong about things he was. I like that he holds his ground with Bobby after The Curious Case of Dean Winchester.

"It's alright, they're idiots, they can't pick a lock."
"Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?"
"I'm making this up as I go, sue me!"

1. Snarky Deannn! <3
2. I don't see you offering any bright ideas, Bobby.
3. LOL. BOYS.

ALRIGHT. YES. FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT! OF THE GIANT MOB. YES. ZOMBIE MOVIE MOMENNTTT!1!1!

SAMMICH SAVED HIS DEANCAKES!! THAT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS! YAY SAMMEH! And that sheriff was kind of awesome.

SAM'S GIANT HEART WHEN HE WAS ASKING HER HOW SHE'S HOLDING UP. HE IS SO COMPASSIONATE. I REALLY LOVE YOU, SAMPANTS. A LOT.

DEAAAANNN. YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT LOVE. YOU ARE A GIANT BALL OF LOVE. STOP BEING BLIND TO YOUR OWN GOOD QUALITIESSS.

D: It really is worse to have her back for five days. And then on top of that to make him kill her again. He should have let Dean do it, like the sheriff let Sam. I really hate that he says "This happened because I've been helping you." as if he regrets it or is dong them some giant favor. It's not them you're helping--they aren't trying to help themselves. They're trying to stop the fucking Apocalypse, dude. You're doing this for everyone and while, yes, this was an awful situation, it's all kinds of messed up to try to make the boys feel bad about it.

SO SAD WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE DEATH. I want him in my life. I love this show's reapers so much, AND HE'S AN EPIC REAPER. GIMME GIMME GIMME.

It must be how long it's been since we last got a new episode, but this one went SO FAST for me. I WANT MORE SHOW AND NEXT THURSDAY IS SO FAR AWAY AND I AM SO EXCITED FOR THAT EPISODE. How will I survive the wait after surviving a whole month?

RE: NEXT WEEK
OMG. MORE MARY. I GET IT. MOMMY ISSUES. We sure are banging the home audience over the head with that one lately, huh? But I think it's so cute that Dean's Heaven is Sam on one side and Mary making pie on the other side. That's such a fact, ya'll. AND OMG. ZACHARIAH IS FINALLY COMING BACK. I LIVE IN FEAR OF HIM, YOU GUYS, BUT HE IS MY FAVORITE VILLAIN AND SO AWESOME AND I CANNOT WAIT. I have missed him a lot all season!

Finally, a conversation with my mother that I could not bear putting below a cut:

Me: Okay, mommy. I'm gonna let you go and get started on typing up my review now.
Moomoo: Alright! Hey, where do you post your review?
Me: On my LiveJournal.
Moomoo: Oh, I see. And I'm not allowed to see that.
Me: I mean, I'm pretty sure you don't want to? Mostly it's me talking about Sam and Dean's big incestuous sex life.
Moomoo: Yes, it's probably best if I stay out of that.
Me: Yeah, unless you want to read my interpretations of things which mostly go like this: "And then Sam said this, but what he really meant was--"
Moomoo: "Dean, we need to buy more Vaseline."
Me:..........O_O.........My mother just said that.

My grandma also watched tonight's episode. Her thoughts? (I wish I could express this in her accent via the internet because it's so much finnier that way)

1. "I like one of the joung men. Not the one with the long hair. The other one. He is pretty." - ALRIGHT, ONE MORE DEAN!GIRL IN THE FAMILY!
2. "I like this eshow so mush. But I was very escared. So I ate all of the ice cream I bought you. It was delicious."

Ok, off to nurse the world's worst headache or go to sleep or something. Love you all! SO EXCITED TO HAVE THE BOYS BACK REGULARLY AGAIN!!!!! :DDDDDD
Tags: fell on the stairs reading, gay savant, i ship it!, jared and jensen are in love, my moomoo, oh fandom, public entry, she eats babies and then spits them out, television squee posts, the internet is eating my life, those brothers have sex
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