Bimbo Baggins (cherie_morte) wrote,
Bimbo Baggins

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Your God may be a dead beat, but mine walks the Earth.

Abandon All Hope Squee Post

So I considered foregoing making a proper post tonight in favor of just saying "Dear Kripke, my vagina. Kthxbi, Phruits." but I'm a sucker for tradition. Oh, I mentioned you don't have to read about brothers fucking if you ignore everything that looks like this, right?

OH OH. CROSSROADS DEMON. THAT IS BADDDD MOJO, INTERNET! I liked this. I am over the fact that we are trying to be That Show, so whatever, let's make bail out jokes. This poor banker was very much in love with Sandy!Demon. SO WAS SAM UNTIL HE DECIDED JENSEN'S COCK TASTES BETTER. I love that Crowley was so very gaygaygay. I mean, an actual LINGERING man-on-man kiss? Seriously, Kripke, if you like fandom so much, you should just put a ring on it.

Hey creeper!Cas, I see you creeping. Also, as much as I love your character, I do not find you sexually appealing 70% of the time. This. was. not. one. of. those. times. UMPH.

Nicely played, Crowley, with the angel proofing. A++.

I loved this Dean 'n' Cas conversation and how much Cas is like a little kid to hime. Alright, Huggy Bear, don't lose him." and "You did great." (especially the latter--let's pet the puppy when he does a good!) They are really cute, I am so glad Dean made a friend. Way to go, Deancakes!

Jo, put some clothes on and eat a hamburger. Girl, you are wayyy too skinny.

Umm, and then they come up and help her because they are MY BOOOYYYYSSS. I like Jo so much. I felt mildly bad for wishing her dead the entire episode. But, you know. What has to happen has to happen.

Okay, so annoyed at how stupid they made the boys look in that scene where they confronted Crowley. I AM ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A CHANCE TO YELL DEVIL'S TRAP, BITCH, AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN ONE IF YOU BOYS HAD SMOOTHED THE FUCKING CARPET. *slap* And then Dean saying that stupid line that was, according to my beloved grammar nazi who even betas speech in television shows, not grammatically accurate.

I was all "WTF SAM" when he took the colt because HELLO, DEMON, MAYBE DON'T TRUST IT but then he reached for it with his Jared Padalecki hands and my thought process went from "Bad, Sam, no!" to "ASIDFDHGIUHFDKBNFDKJGNKFDJGKDJFHGKJFHGKJFDHGJDFD PLEASE TAKE MY VAGINA." I know, I know. I'm like really ~intellectual.

Is it wrong that I am kind of in love with Crowley?

I LOVED THE WHOLE SCENE IN BOBBY'S HOUSE. Ellen and Jo getting Cas drunk! CAS IS SO FUNNY, AND JUST YES. Also, it reminded me a lot of the Extended Edition scene of Lord of the Rings where Gimli is getting Legolas drunk and Legolas "thinks he begins to feel a tingling in his fingers" and I Love that scene (mmore for the merry dancing hobbits, but I digress) so much and I'm sure they didn't *mean* to reference it but it was really familiar so it made me feel happysauce inside.

And then the conversation between the Boooooyyyssss...the only Wincesty thing about this episode. But it was a good one. CASUAL INTIMACY. I Looooovvveeeddddd this moment. "Sam Winchester having an issue trusting a demon? Better late than never." "Thank you for your continued support." *glass clink* YES TO BROTHERLY PICKING ON EACHOTHER. YES TO DELICIOUS WONDERFUL HILARIOUS JUST PLAIN GETTING ALONG. Happy times all over this season, and this is why. And then "Since when do we do anything smart?" WE'RE GONNA DO THIS TOGETHER. Oh, boys. Be still my weeping vagina fluttering heart.

And then we took the picture and it was so cute and I'm pretty sure it's the first time Cas was photographed as well as the last time Ellen and Jo were, so not to skip to the end here, but why the fuck did we burn it?

The boys driving with their phones out the window trying to catch a signal? I'm pretty sure stcuk without cellphone signals is the Winchester Hell. John actually spent 10 months in an empty roo, not being tortured as was previously believed but in fact trying to make a call on his phone and failing.

CASTIEL SITTING IN THE BACK OF A CAR. Just sitting there. Like "Oh hai, what's up?" and then the door handle moment was really funny. I enjoyed Jo and Cas's banter, I feel like she brought him a long way closer to human. Too bad she had to bite it--maybe one day I could have shipped it!

I liked how Cas just stood there for ten seconds like "My SPIDEY SENSES ARE TINGLING." before he discovered the reapers. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a huge fan of reapers on this show so I got way too excited when there were a bunch in this episode. Kept hoping Tessa might pop up. Alas, no such luck--but the roommate did get an ear full about Tessa. Anyway, I was eventually disappointed by the fact that we got no reaper action, but I guess we were a leeetle busy this episode.

This episode can only be described as epic. A lot of people asked me what I thought about it and I said "epic" and they thought I meant that as good, but no, just really epic. I mean, it *was* a good episode, but more epic than good. It went by SO FAST. I still cannot believe I was sitting in front of the television for an hour tonight.

"Hello, brother." - OH HAI, LUCIFER. Epic, so very epic. I really loved how before we get down to business, we have to stop and discuss Cas's slow trip in an automobile. I was like "Yeeesss, tell me more about these muggles."

I am so fucking glad they finally fixed the meh I have been feeling about Castiel's character since IBtCAOF. HE IS BACK ON TRACK TO BEING SO VERY EPIC. I really really liked these two just talking and the things Castiel was saying. His loyalty to the Winchesters, seriously, I love it too, too much. Especially when he said "You're not taking Sam Winchester. I won't let you." YES TO CAS AND SAM FINALLY HAVING SOMETHING BUILDING UP THERE. They're going to have him over for Sam's home baked cherry pie every Sunday when they have a house with curtains, and they won't kick him out until their all night long sex spree begins at around 4:30 p.m. They will all be the best of friends.

"I'll die first." "I suppose you will." - WOW. EPIC SPOILERS, GUYS. No need to bang us over the head with the knowledge that poor Cas is not gonna survive this Apocalypse. It sucks enough as is.

Lucifer with leprosy. Awesome! Very fearsome when he can't even hang out and have a beer without body parts falling off.

Ok, can I complain about something totally inane for a minute here? This show was once really good about jewelry consistency and even since the amulet OF WINCESTY GLORY was taken from Dean we've gone loose canon on that shit. Dean has stopped wearing his ring. Lucifer? Had a wedding ring on. I know Nick was married, but I don't see Lucifer bothering to keep that thing around? Just saying, it's a weird thing to miss.

MEG, WILL YOU FUCKING DIE ALREADY? I really liked her when she was being played by Nicki Aycox and I thought Jared did a great job with her in BUaBS. But, seriously, can we either kill her or let her go because this new bitch? NOT MEG. Not acting like Meg in mannerisms or in motivations and the way this actress talks makes me want to roll over and die. Seriously, why do we have to connect this annoying bitch to a character that was once awesome?

And then the hell hounds. OMG, SO SICK. POOR POOR DEANCAKES. NO. MORE. HELLHOUNDS. FOR. DEANCAKES, PLS. The fear on Dean's face even as he was pretending to play it cool? I thought Jensen did a great job of making that brave BECAUSE he was afraid.

IT GOT JO. Holy fucking crap! I mean, I guessed/hoped she would be the one to go, but I was expecting a love scene first or at least for it to happen later in the episode. I could not believe they would do it to her like this, but I thought it was great.

Dean on the phone with Bobby saying he's not sure Jo would make it seriously broke my fucking heart a lot. Not sure I loved how Bobby took it, but I get it that he was trying to cope. I guess I'll never get that Bobby/Ellen wedding I was always secretly hoping for :) I REALLY ADORED THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN SAM AND DEAN ABOUT WHAT THEY HAD TO DO AND HOW THEY WERE NOT JUST GOING TO GIVE UP ON JO. Like, how neither of them suggested it and then Jo was like "No, I'm going out with a very literal bang." moment.

I know I've made the parallel before, but Bobby is fucking Oracle epic amounts in this episode. I loved Dean's "I sure have died a couple of times." joke. Weird lives when that's average daily banter.

Ok, so, Lucifer unleashing another horseman is kind of epicsauce on its own--BUT A GIANT FUCKING REAPER? UMM. HELL YES. READY FOR IT. PLEASE CAN I SEE THIS GIANT HOT MESS OF SEXY? I mentioned I really liked reapers, right?

Ok, so Meg getting all touchy feely with her Father outside of that ring of fire made me feel so bad for Cas. It's official, first the Winchesters standing outside in front of Gabe in Changing Channels and now this? Those rings are not for containing angels for *strategic purposes*. Those things are for forcing angels to watch. While you have sex.

Ah, I totally called Ellen staying before this episode even started. This was exactly how I wanted these two to go out. I love that Jo was firm and made her mom respect her and that Ellen submitted to it immediately, but no way did anyone need to see what would happen if Ellen went on and Jo didn't. Sam holding Jo's hand while the bombs were being worked on made me happy, too. It was nice to see them being friendly.

The last moments between Jo and Dean were heart wrenching. "This is it, see you on the other side." "Sooner than later, I bet." "Make it later." OH HE WILL, JO. AFTER YEARS AND YEARS OF LIVING IN DOMESTIC BLISS WITH HIS BROTHER. But really, THEIR LAST MINUTES. I knew I would love the kiss if it was like this because Dean is so tender and it was so sad and she really does love him and I loved him giving her that comfort (I see that as more brother/sister, even though he obviously once had sexual feelings for her and still makes jokes, I am really glad it didn't go there [A++, rejecty!Jo] because I feel like Dean knows he couldn't ever be what she would want him to be to her and he cared to much to just use her for sex). Also, Olivia pointed out that this was kind of Dean kissing his last chance at a normal romantic relationship goodbye and that is so sad. So I was really happy with the kiss. BUT THEN THEY WENT THERE.

Let's examine the evidence, you guys. My #1 biggest kink? FOREHEAD KISSES. I LOVE TENDERNESS. DEAN GAVE HER A TENDER FOREHEAD KISS. I FORFEIT MY SOUL TO THIS SHOW. And Sammy looking on was so sweet. Jealous-girlfriend!Sammy wasn't even jealous. He's so understanding of this situation and it made me think of the SO TENDER Sam/Jess neck kiss from 5x03 and these poor boys, they deserved so much and they could have had it. But really, I'm not kidding. Their Love is enough to make me not regret the way these things have to happen, so as much as I liked Jo's character and loved Ellen's, I felt this was such a great way to go out because if Dean and Jo kissed or had sex and she didn't die, that would be groundwork for a sustainable relationship in the future and, I'm sorry, that is just not what these boys need at this point.

SHOUTOUT TO KIM MANNERS!!!! I had no idea that "Kick it in the ass" was Kim's signature until lavendargaia pointed it out to me, but I cannot express how beautiful that made these deaths to me. I mean, even without it, I was getting pretty misty eyed and I never expected to cry for these girls, like them though I do, but it was just such a perfect way for them to go out as the fierce bitches they were.

"Any last words?" "I think I'm good." - Is it wrong that after that awful death and when we're supposed to be gearing up to kill Lucifer, my answer to these lines was "MAKE OUT!"?

Lucifer doing his own manual labor? Yeah, that really amused me. You couldn't get demons to do that work for you, you really had to give this whole epic monologue while shoveling dirt with your leprosy-ridden ass? Well, alright.

THE COLT DIDN'T WORK. OLIVIA CALLED THAT SHIT!! I am pretty thrilled myself. This scene demonstrated exactly what was wrong with it. Really? We're just gonna walk up to Lucifer and shoot him? No. BUT EPIC RED HERRING SURE WAS EPIC. Also, can I just take a minute to piss on the fact that Dean Winchester is still alive? I mean, believe me, I'm thankful for it. But shouldn't every demon in Hell be trying to kill him? Shouldn't Lucifer have paid a little more attention than flinging him into a tree? I mean, I get it that this meat suit is failing you, but COME ON. Kill this measley human, eliminate threat of Michael coming into his powerful vessel. THIS SHIT IS A NO-BRAINER. All the same, I gave Ben Edlund an A++ for this scene (and, well, the whole episode, really).

"It was a good try. 5 things that thing can't kill, and I'm one of them." - Ok, I'm sure Kripke doesn't even know or that this will be developed further down the line, but, uh, anyone else kind of dying to know what the other 4 things are? Someone get my theory!fic, stat.

Lucifer, your speech here was ridiculous and I don't know why Sam listened to it. FIVE MINUTES AGO WE WERE JOKING FAMILIARLY ABOT THE DEMON TRUST THING. WE ARE HEALTHY NOW. Yes, what you're saying sounds like them S4, but this is S5. ROLL WITH THE TIMES, LUCIFER.

Oh, dark!Sammy. You are so very full of empty threats. I really want him to kill Lucifer, but this "I'm going to tear you to shreds" thing? Yeah, you said the same thng to Azazel. Sorry, baby. Your brother gets all the good kills. Don't worry, sweetcheeks, I'm bitter, too.

I like that Lucifer thinks Sam will say "Yes." in "around six months" in Detroit. Last episode of the season is, of course, six months from now. Gee, guys, where do you think the last episode of the season will be set?

"Your God may be a dead beat, but mine walks the Earth." - LOL. WRONG THING TO SAY TO CASTIEL. I liked Cas taking a page out of Alistair's book on beating that trap a little. It was an interesting twist!

I am REALLY ANNOYED and confused by the Cas is cut off from Heaven bit. How come this only comes up when it pertains to things we just don't want him to be able to do? He can teleport but he can't fix legs or kill a regular-level demon? Suck my fucking dick, this shit is ridiculous. WHAT ARE WE KEEPING YOU AROUND FOR IF YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT LIZARD STARE? I say this with the most love in my heart possible but having an angel up our sleeve was important. Now we've lost two more hunters and we've got the Winchesters, two retired hunter, and an impotent angel up against the armies of Hell. We'd better get Gabriel on our side, because I am already going to have a very hard time suspending my disbelief to the point where I will buy our inevitable victory as is.

Meg/Cas--now with more UST than Dean/Cas.

AHAHA. CASTIEL. USED MEG AS A BRIDGE. NOW WHAT, MOTHER FUCKERS? That shit was awesome. I LOVE THAT CRAZY KID. I was a little sad though because I thought just maybe she would FINALLY FUCKING DIE and no such luck. *sigh*. STOP RUINING THIS CHARACTER, SHOW.

As to the next episode, I am not psyched from what I saw, but I epically trust this show after the winning streak it's been on lately. NOT SO HAPPY ABOUT THE DATE FOR IT, though. I THOUGHT IT WAS JANUARY 14 AND EVEN THAT WAS TOO LONG. JANUARY 21?! THAT IS LITERALLY OVER TWO MONTHS. HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO SURVIVE TWO MONTHS WITHOUT SHOW!?!?!?!? It is not nice to get a sweet, innocent girl hooked on crack and then take it away from her, Kripke. You just think about that for a while.
Tags: gay savant, i believe in harvey dent, i ship it!, jared and jensen are in love, lord of the rings, oh fandom, oh-my-livia, public entry, television squee posts, the boy who lived, the internet is eating my life, those brothers have sex
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