If you want to ignore the
Let's get this out of the way ahead of time: I didn't like the episode. It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen, it wasn't Family Remains, and I wasn't expecting much out of it, so I'm not pissed or disappointed, I'm just not impressed. I'm giving it a C-.
I really disliked the opening sequence dead meat girl, she gave me the creeps just from the get-go and then she went and scratched her own brains out, which is (I think) my most disturbing death in SPN history, thanks a lot, guys. I didn't sleep for a week the first time I heard of someone scratching a phantom itch through their arm, and now you go and do it to someone's BRAIN? Icky.
BUT! Is anyone else a Shoebox Project fan? Because the whole thing, with the scary dogs on TV and everything kept reminding me of the Halloween chapter where poor Remus is trying to read Poe and Sirius tells that story about the teenage girl and her dog to piss James off? It made me laugh as fuck. Also, the guy who found her screamed like a girl :D.
Fed!Sam telling the doctor he didn't read the lab reports because the servers were down and then making that tragic face as if servers being down is the worst thing he can think of? A++. Oh, Sammy, ILU.
Detective: We have a witness, but he's not making any sense.
Me: MAYBE SAM CAN HABLO WITH HIM EN ESPANOL. LOLWUT?
"Hit it, Mr. Wizard." - ORLY, SAM? U CALL DEAN "MR. WIZARD" IN BED? IZ GUD 2 KNO!
Dean shocking that Ham? I was like, "Aww! Look! He made a sweet, Winchester style dinner." but then he actually ate it. OMG, DEAN. YOU WILL PUT ANYTHING IN YOUR MOUTH, SRSLY.
He bought a whoppee cushion! Ok, he's like 5 years old and was acting a little bit like badfic!Dean to me in this episode, but the whoppee cushion made me happy.
Dear Red Herring,
Please monologue a little more about how much you want everyone to die. Like really, do you have that conversation with everyone who walks into your store? No wonder no one buys your shit.
DEAN FRIED A CHICKEN. LOLWUT? And a plastic one--that must smell awful.
Let's try not to pervert the fucking tooth fairy, guys. COME ON, I LET YOU HAVE THE DISNEY PRINCESSES, GIVE MY CHILDHOOD A BREAK. No really, this whole thing seemed so contrived to me. We've done this three times before: Tall Tales, Bedtime Stories, and Wishful Thinking, and those were all good episodes with something to offer. This episode? More of the same with nothing to distinguish itself. With each addition to the case, I felt more and more like they had no idea where they were going with this episode. The whole thing just rung false to me, like it kept just hardly missing for me. It didn't feel like an episode, ya know? It wasn't awful and it didn't do anything awfully not canon, it was just not SHOW. It felt like someone trying to write an episode, not like an episode. Like, it fit with plot points, but not with the discourse of the show/fandom.
That nurse was named Jen. My mom immediately texted me, "Do you see Dean flirting with Jen? You should be very jealous." Well, better than me being jealous because random nurse #7 had my roommate's name, was JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND!SAMMY. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSWIN.
Dean! Don't make those faces when people are getting stuck! You're too pretty! Or as Olivia!Sam put it (rather insensitively): "Don't get stuck like that, Dean. You're making a face only a mother could love...and we don't have a mother." But I liked the little conversation here. "I'll take your crazy and raise you..." it was very brotherly which was heart mending.
But then what was that rant about Sea Monkeys? I did not follow how that was relevant or made any sense. I do really love it when Sam admits he has nothing. And then Dean totally had it, which was kind of weird that he just jumped to the right conclusion without any groping for it, but I love it when Dean gets it, so yay.
OH HAI, TRICKSTER LINE. DO YOU HAVE AN OBSESSION THERE, SAMMY? I C WUT U DID THAR, SHOW.
LOVED the "still with the ham" conversation. SO BOYS. The hairy palms were really funny, but I wish he'd told us about it and not shown it. I think I might be sick. BUT YES TO JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND!SAMMY AGAIN. HE IS NOT GOING TO SHAVE YOU TOMORROW MORNING, DEAN. And now Olivia has me wanting Boys shave eachother fic. SO INTIMATE, OMNOMNOM. Poor Sammy. No handjobs for him for a while, I imagine. I don't think I'd let that hand get near me for a while, even after it has been shaved.
So, we're pretty sure it's a trickster...is that why we take a giant knife? Because that's really not how you kill a Trickster, boys. I feel like you MUST know your job better than that.
Wow, Sam. You fucking suck with kids. Furthermore, this child is a fucking bitch. I'm sorry, there's snarky, and then there's being creepy and a douche. He was smart, though.
That WAS NOT A SAM PARALLEL. That was a DEAN PARALLEL. Kid is supposed to be a baby!Sam. DEAN DID THE COOKING, GUYS. MOMMYYYYYY!DEAANNNNN.
Ugh, yeah. Dean did not just shock Sam when he was only mostly sure it wouldn't kill him. I'm not like, appalled because Dean is kind of that guy, but no, not really not at all. Just didn't like it.
Reading!Dean never gets old.
I want to fuck it.
Look, I wrote a poem.
Oh silly no tresspassing sign. You're talking to the motherfucking Winchesters. I love how they push right by it without even thinking about it. MY BOOOYYYSSS.
Ok, these rules are ridiculously wanky and I cannot abide it. Low ranking stunt demon #3 can birth the anti-Christ? If it's that fucking easy, why is there only one of these kids? There should be 1,000. I thought this was going to be, like, Azazel knocked the lady up or something--that I could buy. A demon gets inside of you and nine months later we have a half-demon baby? Wankywankywankwank. Also, badass demon who knocked a bitch up (immaculate conception, really? very cute, guys)--way to secure the area. Next time you're enacting your big evil plan, pick a creepy dungeon that DOESN'T have a giant fucking bag of SALT for no reason. But really, how nice that that was there. I just don't buy it, these rules make no sense to me, and I wish I could pretend they are never going to bring it up again, but then if they don't it's like HELLO, WORLD'S BIGGEST PLOT HOLE. What a stupid, just what a stupid. This was not handled well at all. If you're going to write a throw-away episode, have at it. If you're going to write an epic episode, hey, go for it! But don't try to tap into epic shit with a throw-away. Demon birthing is NOT a "oh, haha, let's move on" kind of thing. IT'S SRS BSNS.
You wanted to kill it, lady? You should have. I'm sorry, that kid is bad fucking news, I really feel like killing it was the best option, though I obviously don't want the boys to support it. I mean I knew he wouldn't be killed, but. Seriously.
THIS JUST IN: SAM WINCHESTER IS NOT THE ANTI-CHRIST. Hah, fandom, how's that?
Cas is help? Not Bobby? Well, I guess he is crippled and all, but we could give the poor guy a call to make him feel better.
CASTIEL ON WHOPPEE CUSHION + "I did not do that." -- FTMFW. SO HILARIOUS. And such a gross boy moment. Dean CLEARLY thinks of him as one of the guys and not at all sexually. Actually, let's be honest here, Misha and Jared have more chemistry than Jensen and Misha, both hilarious and terribly inappropriate.
"Your bible gets more wrong than it gets right." -- My HUGE GIAGANTIC EPIC canon complaint of the night. In your adorable attempt at social commentary, you have entirely disregarded the fact that while turning a few things on their heads and complicating what's written, this show is INCREDIBLY biblical, and that was one of the coolest things about it. I hate you, line. DIAF.
"A year ago you would have done whatever was necessary." "Things change." -- SAMMMMMYY. AND DEAN. SIDING TOGETHER TO BE AWESOME. OMFG, I LOVE IT.
BUT WOW DID WE FAIL THIS EPISODE, CASTIEL! We're faulting Sam for not making the right choice, are we? Really, Cas, I sometimes forget how Sam got out of that panic room. I WISH THAT SAM AND DEAN KNEW THAT WAS HIM. Because then we could just say "Ok! All three of us REALLY fucked up and started the Apocalypse and now that we don't have to point fingers, let's fix it." Instead it's that moment in Ever After where the Spanish Princess doesn't want to marry the Prince and then you see her parents fighting in Spanish and it just turns into "ES TU CULPA!" "NO!! ES TU CULPA!!" Does anyone know the one I'm talking about? I don't care, it's one of my favorite scenes from a movie...and Sam, Dean, and Cas dressed as Elizabethan Spanish nobles yelling about whose culpa the Apocalypse is might be my very favorite mental image ever.
Wow, Creeper!Cas. "I'm not going to hurt you, little boy. Your parents will not wake until morning." Yeah, you definitely deserved that action figure thing. I loved pissy!Dean disowning Cas as his friend. COME ON, DEAN, YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR, YOU KNOW YOU AND CAS BOUGHT ANGEL WING BF NECKLACES LAST WEEK AT CLAIRS (Sam got jealous, so they had to go back for the three-way ones, you know, with the heart with three pieces and one says "Best" "Friends" "Forever". Dean got best, Cas got forever, and Sam got to be the meat in the sandwich). ALSO: WHY DID WE NOT GET DEAN POSING CAS IN STUPID WAYS? BECAUSE YOU KNOW DEAN DID AND IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS AND CAS WOULD HAVE HATED HIS LIFE AND I DON'T CARE HOW ADORABLE THAT WOULD MAKE THIS EPISODE FOR DEAN/CAS FANS BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO FUCKING GREAT I WOULD BE WILLING TO THROW THEM THAT BONE. Ahem, I'm calm.
We called them "partners" twice in this episode. We use that one rarely, considering how often we impersonate the FBI and twice in one episode? It's just such a loaded term and I love when people call them partners, because wellll, wink wink nudge nudge ad nauseam.
DEAN TELLING THE KID HE'S A SUPERHERO AND STUFF. SO CUTE. He is so cute with kids (except for the one at the beginning of this episode, that was SUPER creeper-y). I WANT HIM TO HAVE A FUCKING KID SO BAD, YOU GUYS. I usually don't wish that on people, but OMG. And this kid was like, a little Sam parallel. PLEASE CAN WE RESSURECT MOMMY!DEAN FOR A BABY!SAM? I need this in my life. There was a moment there where I thought they were actually going to take the kid to Bobby and dump him there (which seriously sucks for Bobby but we don't seem to mind that thid season) and I was like "Ok. That's fucking IT. THESE BOYS ARE RAISING THAT KID WHEN THIS FUCKING APOCALYPSE IS OVER. CURTAINSSSS!!"
Really, Demon, you just said "Look into your heart"? REALLY? Ooooookay.
I like the kid telling her to "Sit down and shut up." He is WEARING THE PANTS. A little abusive husband, but hey! He's going to make a fantastic top when he's older and gay. Except not really, because Olivia and Cat pointed out that he looked like Audrey Elmer (from Wishful Thinking)'s twin brother and then I was like "HE CAN BRING HER TEDDY BACK TO LIFE AND MAKE IT NICE!!" and now I ship it. The things that happen when crazy people talk ont he phone, *shakes head*.
Sam Winchester just name dropped himself when trying to convince this kid not to go darkside. AHAHAHA. Very nice, Sam, I like. I wish Sam didn't bank his own beliefs so much on whether other people succeed where he failed. Because this kid is a fucking ticking bomb and when he snaps, you can't be like "Oh, IC. I AM PURELY EVIL, ONEONE."
Dean repeating his Yellow Fever "You're awesome."?
1. You're not drunk.
2. You're not hitting on this kid like you were hinting on that random guy.
3. It's not funny.
Cas is a "good guy but confused"? I think Sam had it right, he was just a dick this episode. So, so sad. He has been SO BADASS this season and WOW we just undid all of his progress back to beginning-of-Season 4!Angel dick. RAGE.
Winchesters telling a kid to give up his family because it's for their own good? Wow, guys. Remember that time you made the single most hypocritical speech in history? I mean, I get that they were trying not to piss the kid off because he could hand them their asses, but that was NOT the kind of choice you expect an 11 year-old to make. And now he's gone off by himself to, what, Hawaii or whatever and it's like...how is he going to take care of himself? How sad is it that his parents are going to be looking for him for the rest of their lives? How long is it going to take before the demons find him and twist him (Sam Winchester got tricked into going darkside? Sorry, kid's fucked.)? GIGANTIC NEVER ENDING PLOT HOLES ARE GIANT AND NEVERENDING.
Finally, that speech Dean gives in the end? Hello, person writing this, have you ever seen a little episode called "Something Wicked"? DEAN DEFINITELY ALREADY UNDERSTOOD WHY PARENTS LIE TO THEIR CHILDREN.
In conclusion: I pass.