Bimbo Baggins (cherie_morte) wrote,
Bimbo Baggins
cherie_morte

If this was the Cold War, we could keep each other warm.

Hello, all! Did you have nice holidays? Yes? Yes! Everybody happy with your presents? GOOD. THAT'S NICE. Here, I need help making a decision again. Vote in my poll.

So, I'm working on a story for apocalypsebang. I need a country for the US to be eyeball-to-eyeball with USSR at the height of the Cold War style, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Usually my go to in situations like this is, "LOL, pick on Cuba! It's not offensive if you're bombing your own motherland! :D" but for obvious historical reasons, Cuba is, like, so last season as far as cold wars go.

On twitter, I whined for my friends to do all my work for me and was rewarded with two great suggestions! unavoidedcrisis suggested Antarctica and wutendeskind suggested Switzerland. My slightly cracky explanations for how these countries become the new USSR will be:

Antarctica: "I'm all for nonproliferation, but why did we think sending all the world's nukes to Antarctica & then also exiling a bunch of failed dictators there was a good idea?" "I guess that's what happens when you force Republicans to throw away their weapons."

or

Switzerland: "Yeah, and to think, we could have prevented this whole thing so easily if we hadn't just believed them when they said they were neutral and left them to stock up on weapons without ever suspecting it."

or if you have another suggested explanation for either of the above or any other suggested country, fire away (har har, get it, because nuclear warheads?)

Poll #1887448 I'm starting WWIII, who would you like to bomb?

Which country is the next USSR?

Antarctica
14(48.3%)
Switzerland
14(48.3%)
I have a funnier but just as inoffensive option for you, Cherie. And I will explain why in a comment.
1(3.4%)

If this was the end of the world, would there still be bacon?

Yes, bacon.
14(16.7%)
There will always be bacon.
20(23.8%)
There will be incest and bacon.
27(32.1%)
Bacon twinkies actually sound kind of delicious.
8(9.5%)
Ticky.
15(17.9%)


Here's a video we've all seen 100 times but would nonetheless like to see 100 more for your pains:

Tags: america: fuck yeah, big bang, cherie gets overexcited about holidays, gay savant, history excites me sexually, jared and jensen are in love, juan goes to college, my hair is my only friend, oh fandom, once again elisa is the table douchebag, politics, public entry, the angel of the holy grail, the internet is eating my life, tracey makes me do weird things
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 47 comments