So I was so so excited for Jess and OMFG JESS. I really didn't want that to suck and although I really could have gone for a little more screentime, it definitely did not suck. Why? Because Jess is a believer in the Wincest. "We've been down this road before." OMFG, you know it wasn't the hunting because she didn't know about that. It was the "You're weird about your brother and I get that and it's ok." road. And yes, I know it was Lucifer but if Sam didn't know what she was hinting at, he would have caught on that she was fishy before the home audience did. That made me so sad, Lucifer using her to get to Sam. I AM NOT SYMPATHIZING WITH YOU, SATAN. I FIND YOUR VESSEL CAPTURING METHODS HIGHLY UNETHICAL. Also, I'd really like to fuck you in your current state, please stay Mark Pellegrino, k?
LOL. HEY OBNOXIOUS WAITRESS LADY, WALK AWAY NOW. EVERYTHING SAM WINCHESTER PUTS HIS DICK IN DIES
The Sam-and-Dean doing character appropriate things that mirror eachother at the same time? Greatest montage in history. I cannot express it better than Olivia: "Even if this episode sucks, it will get +2 points on the 1-10 scale for this montage alone."
Castiel gives you no personal space. Castiel is watching you masterbate. With his creepy lizard stare. The first thing he asks? "Where's Sam?" Dean's immediate response? "Where's my amulet?" I don't know how much plainer they could come out and say Cas is a Sam/Dean!girl and Dean wants to fuck his brother really a lot.
Dude, when Cas said he wanted Dean to "work Raphael over" I thought he was asking him to torture again. And I was seriously disturbed.
Yeah, lady, Sam's a genius. This does not mean you get into his pants. Also, did Sam just say taco? What's with the Mexican food motif this season? I think they're starving the poor writer's room. That or they've banned Mexican food from the set because Jensen threatened to kill himself the next time he was stuck in the Impala with Farticus!Jared.
LOL. Yeah, sometimes Sam does get the feeling that the world is ending. Sometimes, he even feels like IT'S ALL HIS FAULT.
OKOKOK. Sidekick!Cas was so HILARIOUSLY MADE OF FAIL. I LOOOOVVEED HIS CREEPY LIZARD STARE (try to catch that man blinking, you can't). And his FBI BADGE FAIL. AND HOW HE NEVER KNEW WHAT TO SAY TO PEOPLE. Dean explaining lying to him, too hilarious. I think Dean made more off-hand jokes this episode than he's ever made, but he couldn't get that poor angel to crack.
Sam, you moron. Do you know how many hours and how much Love Dean put into making you all of those fucking IDs? The printing charge alone. *smacks head*
OMG, SEEING THIS BATTERED ANGEL VESSEL BROKE MY HEART BECAUSE IT REMINDED ME THAT JIMMY'S IN THERE. JIMMMMMMMMYYYYYY. I know, I know, it's totally nonsensical to worry about him, but I just get so sad everytime I remember what he's going through in there. Oh, and sorry Cas/Dean shippers, Olivia says Cas can't consent because he just fumbles along the FBI badge and Olivia is the final word on everything. He can, she assures me, consent to another angel because they can get eachother. So I guess we'll all have to accept that Dean/Cas is not meant to be and Anna/Cas is. \o/
DEAR SAM, CALL YOUR BROTHER. DON'T CALL BOBBY AND FEED HIM A CASE--YOU'RE EITHER HUNTING OR YOU AREN'T And *sigh*, Bobby is still in a wheelchair. I CAN'T BLEACH IT OUT OF MY BRAIN. Sam misses hunting so much. This is just more Sam misses Dean hiding behind something else. I eat it up.
DEAN TOOK CAS TO A WHORE HOUSE BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS CAS'S LAST NIGHT ON EARTH. EL OH EL OH EL OH EL. I died. Three times. Not that I believe Dean has ever paid for sex, so I have no idea where he thought he was going after Cas had gone off with Chastity, but I guess when no sex that isn't with your brother will satisfy you any way, you might as well just be self-loathing and pay for sex. Right, Brian Kinney? That guy knows what I'm talking about. I like that his hooker is called "Chastity", V. APPROPRIATE! Dean's determination to get Cas laid? Has so much too do with how long it's been since he had buttsecks. And now, some more shippy magic by Olivia Ordonez:
"Let me tell you, there are two things that I know for certain. (1) Bert and Ernie are gay and (2) you are not going to die a virgin, not on my watch."
1. My brother and I, who happen to be total Bert and Ernie clones, are gay.
2. I need to get you laid so I can stop having to wonder if you want to have sex with me.
Everyone Three Weeks Before Now: Hey, isn't the only thing that can kill an angel another angel? I guess he really will have to be possessed by Michael to kill Lucifer!
Me: Wasn't there no way to kill a demon and now there's like eight?
This Week's Episode!Castiel: Allow me to introduce you to a new way to kill angels.
Me: I am a fucking genius.
Anything that still has Dean killing Lucifer at the end of this game without him being an angel condom. Raphael, the dick mutant ninja angel who is responsible for killing everyone's favorite neighborhood fallen angel? Black. My goodness, Supernatural. Does racial fail never get old to you guys? FUN FACT: The guy who played Raphael was the first person to die in Season 1 episode "Faith". They brought him back, so that they could make him a giant dick. REALLY, JUST ONE BLACK CHARACTER WHO ISN'T A HUGE FAILY STEREOTYPE? AND NO ONE SAY HENRICKSON TO ME--HE WAS BRUTALLY MURDERED FIVE MINUTES AFTER BECOMING FIERCE AND THEN RISEN AS A WITNESS WHO TRIED TO KILL DEAN. LOSE LOSE LOSE.
The things he said terrified me. Those angels have gone COMPELTELY APESHIT, OH MY GOD. It's a little Angels in America, which excites me sexually. I don't even for a second worry that Lucy raised Cas--1) he didn't even have a meat suit yet, so he definitely couldn't swing it, 2) Cas is fallen, not evil and Lucifer is smart enough to see the difference, 3) GOD HAS NOT LEFT THE BUILDING because Cas has faith and Cas is a fucking gangster. I do like that it breeds some nice daddy issues in him, though. OMNOMNOMDADDYISSUES.
CAS'S LAST LINE TO HIM!!! SOMEBODY'S BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME (just enough time?) WITH DEAN. IT WAS AWESOME. I looooove how taken back Dean was where he was just like "Yeah!" Castiel is such a fierce bitch this season, I have no words.
Dean's speech in the car bothered me so much. I mean, I'm fine with him saying it, I understand where he is and I could tell he didn't even a little bit believe it but still, hearing Dean Winchester say he is better off without family, especially Sam? Just ouch. Dickslap Major. But you know what was awesome? Sam/Dean!Girl!Cas BAILING AS SOON AS HE STARTED THAT FUCKERY. And poor Dean's face when he looks over and realizes he's alone, can't replace Sam no matter what. It's a beautiful thing. I wasn't even annoyed that Cas sat in Sam's seat. Cas is just that fierce. Though I imagine the Dean/Cas fans are going crazy over this episode. I'm sorry, they just have no sexual chemistry, even if you don't want to admit that Jared and Jensen's chemistry makes not shipping Sam/Dean nearly impossible. They make great friends, though *thumbs up*.
SAMMY MAKES ME SO SAD. HIS GIANT, SELF-LOATHING PUPPY EYES, OH MY GOD. BUT HOW PROUD WAS I OF HIM? His refusal! And then they FORCE FED IT TO HIM, AND HE STILL. SPIT. IT. OUT. That's so serious just last week he was so tempted and now he SPITS IT OUT. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE HE CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF WHAT DEAN WOULD DO IF HE LET THAT HAPPEN TO HIM. HE IS SO STRONG, OMFG. SAMMMMMMMMMYYY. AND THEN! AND THEN! AND THEN! HE DIDN'T KILL THAT MAN. HE DIDN'T, EVEN THOUGH HE DESERVED IT. YOU KNOW WHY?
SEASON 2 SAMMY IS BACK IN TOWN.
OMFG. THE LOVE FOR THAT SAM. IT SHOULD HURT TO LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH, BUT I SO NEEDED TO SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN. SORRY, LUCIFER. YOU CAN BE SNEAKY AND PRETEND TO BE JESS, BUT YOU CANNOT CORRUPT SEASON 2!SAM!! It was great, the speech he gives Jess about hope? That along with not killing that man, and spitting the blood back out--it's all that innocence poor Dean tried so hard to preserve, the beautiful innocence that snapped when he lost Dean (circa Mystery Spot, though it started earlier and obviously remained a bit until after Dean went to hell). If Dean could only have seen that scene, they would be eating ice cream out of eachother's ass cracks by now.
I am trying to convince myself there's a way for them to do Sam-as-Lucifer's vessel well, but only as a back up plan. I don't care if it's Written, HE WON'T GET TO SEASON 2!SAM. WHO IS BACK, BY THE FUCKING WAY. But honestly? After 5x01, I was really worried that Sam would be Lucifer's vessel and Dean would be Michael's and they would end the show with the boys killing eachother but not that they came right out and said Sam is Lucifer's vessel...I'm just not even a little worried. First of all, Dean won't cave. Second, Season 2!Sam won't cave. Third, Kripke is an evil man who will never make things that simple to guess this early on. But I am such a fan of Lucifer treating Sam so parent/child and expecting him to be the happy little anti-christ. YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BRAIN FUCKED, LUCIFER. BECAUSE THAT IS SEASON 2!SAM.
The kiss he planted on Jess's neck? SO TENDER, SO BEAUTIFUL. They break my heart, they do. I kind of really ship it a little bit. I blame Olivia (for everything in my life bad or good, but for now let's focus on the Sam/Jess thing).
My sister was sitting beside me during this entire thing repeating "You are so fucking weird." and "This show got realllly intense since the episode I last saw." Poor Lio and Jen, they had no idea what they were getting themselves into tonight. But Jen is so accepting of my Love for the Wincest now! Mommy, Jen...I'm like Uriel working conversions, yo. LIO IS NEXT--BWAHAHA. Not really, I'm not force feeding my sister the incest ship.
FINALLY. FINALLY. FINALLY. CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME NEXT WEEK IS GOING TO BE?!?!!?? CROATOAN!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111!!!1!1!1
Ahem. I am a nun, did I mention that?
So yeah. I just want it to be next week because OMFG--THAT EPISODE, I NEED IT NOW. This show runs my life. How am I going to live like this for another six days? *sigh*